Monogamy and polygamy: what is it

Polygamy and monogamy are terms familiar to everyone from school, but how often does a person think about what exactly they mean? And how does this definition affect everyday life and relationships with the opposite sex?

What forms of relationships are better – those that oblige you to be faithful to each other, or those that allow you to “add variety”? It all depends on the nature and personal characteristics of each individual.

What is the best form of relationship?

Both forms of family relationships exist as long as a person exists. Today, most people prefer a monogamous form of marriage, where it is customary to have one permanent partner, to whom they remain faithful in the sexual and moral aspect.

And although for many representatives of both the strong and the weaker sex, the monogamous form becomes boring and routine, yet it is it that is common in most countries of the modern world. Even representatives of sexual minorities practice adherence to monogamy, believing that polygamy is a symbol of disrespect for a partner.

However, there are couples who prefer this position: monogamous marriage, including polygamous relationships. Is this possible, and will such a situation not be the beginning of the end of a relationship in which there is a place for only one partner? To understand this, you need to understand the concepts and patterns of relationships that have existed for thousands of years.

Polygamy and its types

What is polygamy, and what does the term “polygamy” mean? Translated from Latin in all dictionaries, “poly” means “a lot.”

Accordingly, the definition of “polygamy” implies the presence of multiple relationships in one person. Relations in this case imply cooperation on the principle of “I give to many, I receive from many.” Moreover, this type is considered acceptable only in the case when the presence of multiple contacts suits all participants in these same relationships.

Polygamy has several types. So, in the modern world, there are cases when both partners, before marriage or after, stipulate their sexual relations with other people.

In such a family, both a man and a woman, for some reason, are comfortable being next to each other, they have a strong and friendly family, but they are both interested in other sexual partners. Such polygamy is called swinging or freedom in relationships. Usually swingers meet at thematic meetings or forums, have parties, etc.

Sometimes polygamy – swinging is one-time, but more often this form of marriage becomes permanent. Frequent or periodic change of sexual partner introduces a certain variety into the usual sexual life of a married couple, making it brighter.

It is also possible such a form of marriage, when only one person has extraneous contacts, while the other remains faithful to family values. Polygamy takes place only if both partners respect each other’s personal freedom and do not consider ties with other partners as a reason for dissolution of marriage. Also, polygamy includes a very important point: one of the partners always knows about the contacts of his other half.

If, in a married couple, a partner starts a relationship, not considering it necessary to inform his soulmate about this, rightly believing that the spouse will not approve of such “polygamy”, this has a different definition: treason. They often try to disguise this type of betrayal as freedom in relationships, but, as a rule, this does not end in anything good for marriage.

Polygamy implies a high degree of trust in one’s sexual partner, and therefore not every person is able to decide on this, since a sense of ownership prevails. Polygamy in its purest form is quite rare in the modern world.

About male polygamy

Are all men really polygamous? Usually women are forced to ask such questions, whose chosen one was improved in an attempt to betray. Not wanting to endure this state of affairs, the woman declares her readiness to end the marriage, but the man convinces her not to cut it off her shoulder and not to hope that the next romance will turn out better, because all men are naturally prone to polygamy. Is it really?

Unfortunately, there is still some truth in these statements. A man can really show interest in several women at once – as nature intended, males often try to fertilize more females.

Simply put, this behavior is already in the genes. In the old days, even before humanity gained faith, earthlings were adherents of polygamy. This was not caused by promiscuity or dishonesty – this is how people simply survived, because large-scale wars were not uncommon then, taking many lives. The male population has always suffered in these battles, so society was in dire need of male children. Gradually, harems began to appear.

A lot has changed since then, but don’t be surprised that, instinctively, men still gravitate towards several women at once. However, at present, more and more men are inclined towards the monogamous form, since feelings of kinship and love for their woman predominate, which does not allow infidelity.

Quite often now you can meet couples in which the man is not only faithful to his wife / girlfriend, but is not really interested in other women. He finds everything he needs in one, admiring her external and internal qualities, even after many years.

When building relationships, a person only at the beginning pays attention to appearance, but later on, the inner side is more important, due to which a strong family connection is formed, which discourages the desire to seek contacts on the side.

Monogamy and its benefits

According to scientists and doctors, man is by nature monogamous.

It is easy to guess that in Latin the term “mono” means “one”, and the definition of “monogamy” is the preference for one sexual partner over all others. So, monogamy is the ideal form of human relationships. Why, then, do many couples and families collapse, and the statistics of betrayal are simply horrifying?

According to the same scientists, the reason for everything is the lack of trust in the family. Constant suspicions of treason, jealousy, distrust – these are the factors that are considered the main problem. As mentioned above, not all couples can boast of complete and absolute trust in their other half and harmony in the family.

For others, the salvation of marriage is swinging and freedom in relationships. The rest of the representatives of monogamous couples who could not cope with their own jealousy are doomed to divorce.

There are many ways to correct the situation. So, the best way out is to visit a family psychologist who will help you find the causes of jealousy and distrust, and also explain what principles a strong marriage is based on.

It is important to see positive qualities in your partner, not to look for negativity. Both women and men still need to improve in life, pleasantly surprising their soul mate, bringing new colors to your marriage.

Elements of polygamy in a monogamous marriage

Having studied the basics of polygamy and monogamy, one can find common elements for both forms of relationship.

And if the principles of polygamy are introduced into a traditional family, this will help not only keep relationships strong, but also add brightness and surprise to the usual way of life. Also, adhering to the basic rules of polygamous relationships, you can not only solve most of the problems that arise in family life, but also avoid them.

The first and most important principle is not to ask too much. When we get married or just start a new relationship, we place a lot of tasks on our partner.

Perhaps some of the responsibilities will have to be assigned to someone else: parents, close friends or work colleagues, and the beloved person will have to leave the place of an ideal lover and life partner. Also, many spouses face the problem of leisure activities.

It’s no secret that different hobbies may well cause a scandal or breakup. No need to demand from a husband or wife a love of golf or origami folding. Leisure and hobbies are needed for that, in order to get involved in them “for oneself”, and not to demand to share the hobby by force.

In addition, such a pastime can distract from family worries, give moments of joy and increase self-esteem. And these are not the last components of a happy marriage.

Discussion of family problems should be carried out only with the second half, but it is quite possible to get advice on a relatively new wardrobe item or an assessment of a book you have read from friends or colleagues. However, there is a problem that concerns only spouses – the desire for sex.

Very often one of the partners (and this is not always a woman!) refuses intimacy for a number of important and not very reasons. Whether to force a loved one to fulfill his “marital duty”?

To force means to destroy your relationship with your own hands. If there is trust and intimacy in a couple, the spouses will always be able to discuss problems that one of them does not want to make love.

Often the cause is fatigue or health problems, in the solution of which intimate life is getting better. However, if the reason was the loss of interest, there can be two ways out: either seek solace on the side, or re-win your other half.

Imagine that this person is a stranger and your relationship is just beginning. Such a game will add variety to the usual everyday life, make sex bright and interesting, and refresh fading feelings. If the fire of love has gone out, but friendship and respect remain, and there is no reason to break off a long relationship, you can resort to polygamy.

The main thing is compromise and freedom

It is very important to be able to talk with your loved one and understand their needs. You can’t ask for something and still give nothing in return. Most problems in family life arise from the fact that people cannot discuss them, understand each other and find a solution to the problem that satisfies both.

In couples where spouses know how to negotiate, relationships are stronger, because they are built on trust and respect – the main elements of polygamy. It is often very difficult to make concessions, because a person feels an infringement of his rights.

However, if at the same time he also receives additional freedom in making any decisions, then such an agreement is perceived simpler and easier in moral terms.

You also need to be able to speak. It is important not only to express the accumulated claims, but to do it in the right way: without shouting and reproach. In response, you need to “hear” the arguments of the opposite side and accept this point of view. It is this kind of constructive dialogue that is considered one of the strongholds of polygamy, and it should definitely be used in monogamy.

The third principle of polygamy is freedom. You can not limit the personal space of a partner completely. Each family member should have personal hobbies and hobbies, their own “secrets” and “secrets”. It’s not about relationships on the side. These should be classes, thanks to which a person will be able to personally develop and grow, which will allow him not to get bored with his half, to become more desirable and interesting. By limiting the partner’s freedom only to the family and its problems, you can quickly lose interest in him, and this will lead to conflicts and the breakup of the family.

If a couple spends too much time together, you need to take a break from each other. Whether it’s going on vacation for a few weeks, or meeting up with friends for a few hours. It is important that the spouses have time not only to get bored, but also to get new impressions and emotions that can later be shared with each other.

If all options have been tried, and the relationship continues to deteriorate, you should talk openly with your partner and make the final decision on whether to keep it going.

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