Alien woman: just communication or a dangerous relationship

Instead of a preface

According to the Talmud, Adam had a wife , Lilith , but Eve, with an apple from the tree of knowledge, changed the path of Adam and the history of the human race…

“Old tradition”, but nothing has changed. You can talk as much as you like about the immorality of adultery, about the fact that there are unwritten rules like the biblical “Do not covet another’s wife” … But, it would seem, what could be dangerous about simple communication between a man and a woman? The answer lies in our very nature.

At the origins. Diagnosis: physiology

A man and a woman cannot perceive each other outside of gender. So it was, is and will be, and for a boy every girl, for a man – every girl and every woman – is an attempt to find himself.

We are all like in a giant store: millions of things, we evaluate them and either dismiss them immediately or try them on. And from the endless options, we manage to choose polar things, but, as often happens, they don’t suit us for some reason … And we leave so that one day we can find our own somewhere: a thing, a land, a person.

The famous phrase: “There can be no friendship between a man and a woman: in such a relationship, either one or both have a hidden interest as in the opposite sex and often (even if they don’t want to) allow the possibility of such a relationship in the future,” confirms the danger of such friendship : they are drawn because they are interested in each other.

A man and a woman, peering into hundreds of other men and women, are looking – consciously or not – for an opportunity to become happier.

Why another? Relationships in the mirror of psychology

No matter how great the feeling was, but the “love boat” breaks against everyday life. And there is no longer that tenderness that connected the two – there is a feeling of uselessness. And therefore, more and more often we look around and reach out to those who are kind to us, and we tell ourselves that this is only communication, nothing more, and we are afraid to admit that we do not “just communicate” with everyone that the circle of so-called friends of the opposite sex is narrow, and only those who are pleasing to us enter into it ….

That is why this neighbor or wife’s sister is more dangerous than the most beautiful girl who can be near a man: she is in the zone of trust, it is easier with her, she is always there … Therefore, it is difficult to resist the temptation to just feel loved, and it seems that this time everything will not be just like the first…

Alien woman. Relationship aftertaste

And the result is a divorce.

  • Statistics confirm that it is the appearance of a third person that most often causes a divorce;
  • cheating (23%) is the leader among the factors influencing relationships;
  • 2nd place is poverty (21%);
  • on the 3rd – misunderstanding (19%).

The numbers change, but the levers that determine the movement in communication are the same.

The woman with whom it all started with simple trust is turning into a source of increasing alienation, split and separation in a married couple. And everything could be fixed if not for this friendship and this friendly communication … Or is that not the point? And the divorced spouse re-enters the relationship, so that later, after a few years, they will divorce again for the same reason.

Ready recipes for a happy life

Are you waiting to be told how to live? No, we won’t. Yes, you can communicate with men and women: it enriches, gives an understanding of this eternal mystery, which lies in the one who is opposite.

But we must remember that it is dangerous for a sweet tooth to walk near a confectionery , that if you are a man, a woman will be more of a temptation for you than a friend.

We ourselves are the authors of all our problems: alienation between spouses is not born suddenly – we move away and do not work on relationships. And if you decide that the time you spent on friendly communication would be better spent with your wife, then this article was not written in vain: this could be a chance to return love.

You know all the recipes for happiness yourself. So use them.

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