Different sex needs are a big problem in relationships. If someone wants intimacy more often, this can be a reason for resentment and irritation. But the temperament cannot be changed, so you have to look for compromises. How to be that both are satisfied with sex life ? There are some simple but effective tips.
Determine your temperament in advance
If you know your needs even before the relationship , then you can look for a person with similar requirements. To do this, it is important to assess your needs on a ten-point scale. For example, how often do you need sex? 1 is very rare, 10 is several times a day. Only those whose needs are similar will be happy together. What if you already live together and the discrepancy did not appear immediately?
Those who want more should learn to control their impulses. If he constantly pushes his partner to have sex, it will look like coercion. The second is forced to agree, but for him it is violence. As a result, both are dissatisfied. And this should be avoided.
For starters, it’s important to understand that temperament is an innate quality. Desire is most often not associated with feelings, and refusal to have sex is not a cooling off of a relationship, but simply a lack of physical need. Someone needs a lot, someone needs little – and that’s okay. It is important to immediately discuss what causes the rejection. It is necessary to determine that this is not connected with the attitude towards a person, but only with physical sensations.
Then, a more demanding partner can come up with a substitute for sex . The two most popular options are masturbation and sports. Regular exercise in the gym often replaces intimacy. Or self-satisfaction saves.
Sometimes sex can be replaced with something else, like kissing, hugging, massage. Intimacy doesn’t always have to be with penetration. Seeking alternative actions is appropriate behavior. For example, a partner can masturbate, and the second, less willing to have sex, is just nearby. Touching, kissing is possible, which does not require serious activity. It can really relieve tension. This behavior is better than hiding from a loved one the fact of self-satisfaction. Using sex toys together is also an opportunity to get relaxation without requiring a lot of participation from a loved one. For men, various masturbators have been developed for this, for women – dildos and vibrators. Models that are controlled remotely are especially interesting. The remote control is easy to transfer to a loved one, and he will select the modes of movement. And such a game is also sex, albeit different from the classic one.
Sometimes it is impossible to get distracted, and sport causes even greater desire. What to do then? The answer to this question must be sought together. It all starts with an open dialogue. If the couple does not find a compromise, it will not work together for a long time. Most often, an open relationship is the solution . A more active partner begins to look for sexual partners on the side to satisfy their desires. At the same time, his couple knows about this and does not oppose what is happening. This is an acceptable practice, but it is important to negotiate the rules so that there are no complaints later. For example, not to meet with lovers at home, not to have children, to protect themselves in a certain way, etc. Not everyone can decide on an open relationship, this is a very important step , which is possible only for couples who really love each other. But with different temperaments, this is a chance to improve interaction.