Dear ladies, today I want to talk to you about things that are not customary to share, even among the best friends. It’s about reducing sex drive in a long-term relationship. Many of us are faced with the gradual extinction of libido in a strong half of humanity. If earlier your husband looked at you like a hungry beast on a crust of bread, then after several years of living together, sex becomes so rare that you want to howl at the moon in despair.
I will not feel sorry for us and shout, they say, “the guy is not the same today”, “become impotent early”, “ecology and GMOs are to blame for everything.” I declare with full responsibility – stupid wives are the root cause of decreased attraction. Right now I feel your indignant looks on me. Please stone me with stones, accuse me of sexism, but for God’s sake, listen and try to understand. Such conclusions did not arise out of nowhere, so as not to be unfounded, I will give a specific example from my own life.
Briefly about personal
We met our current boyfriend on a camping trip almost 7 years ago. The mountains, spending the night in a cramped tent and songs by the fire did their evil deed, on the third day I melted, completely succumbing to the surging wave of feelings. The rest of the week of vacation flew by like a dream. Joint overcoming of steep ascents and descents, loving glances, beautiful confessions and unrestrained sex. Parting, we exchanged phones for the sake of decency, because no one allowed the possibility of further development of relations. Everything is very clear – we live in different cities, students, there is no money for frequent trips. They kissed and said goodbye.
Official statistics are relentless – 88% of resort romances stop after returning to gray workdays. Me and A. (I don’t want to name names) were among the lucky 12%, his call was a complete surprise and hours of telephone conversations grew into something more. Once a month, my beloved would stock up on tape of condoms and ride the train on the wings of love to spend the weekend together. During these few days, we practically did not get out of bed and behaved like anxious schoolchildren.
After two years of exhausting overcoming obstacles, A. graduated from the institute, moved to my city, found a job and offered to live in the same territory. The first year of a normal relationship was fabulous, we made up for missed bouquet and candy moments, went on dates, and turned into rabbits at night.
The decline was not noticed immediately, because the situation worsened gradually and reached its climax by the 6th year, when the number of intercourse decreased to once a week. My reaction was a burning resentment, a hundred thoughts swarmed in my head: “He is cheating”, “Maybe he’s out of love”, “A. sick ”and so on. Moreover, the main culprit of the problem was a man, and attempts to speak frankly were buried in a reinforced concrete wall. After another scandal on the basis of neglect, something clicked in my head, and I decided to get to the bottom of it.
About a month fell out of my life, it was spent on a deep immersion in the study of research on the topic of decreased libido. Scientists identify psychological and physical reasons for the loss of sexual desire, however, upon closer examination, they all bump into the family atmosphere.
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7 deadly sins of wives
1. Unreasonable scandals
Who among us has not started a quarrel over a trifle? Having cooled down a little, we understand that the reason was insignificant, and the unpleasant aftertaste from what was said will remain for a long time. Take the familiar PMS period, for example, I am transformed from a cute girl into an aggressive creature capable of absorbing tons of cakes and screaming heart-rendingly for no reason. Even the sound of footsteps irritates. Before yelling, you should retire in the next room, count to 10 and assess the adequacy of your discontent. Perhaps for some it will be a revelation, but men do not have menstruation, so they do not understand what is happening and are very offended by the words dictated by hormonal changes.
2. Dissatisfaction with the financial situation
There is always not enough money, but you do not need to file your husband for a small income once again. Act wisely, develop your own strategy to manipulate his EGO. I use praise as an incentive to increase my income. It all started with a pair of plum shoes. Talking about her day, she casually mentioned that she had seen awesome sandals that she had dreamed of for a long time. Then she saved small sums from the family budget and during the sales period she acquired the coveted couple with a 50% discount. In the company of his friends, there was a reason to boast of a new thing: “A. got a salary and bought me shoes, I’m so glad, the idiot’s dream has finally come true! ” You should have seen my boyfriend’s face, he was so proud of himself. Now the beloved is ready to break up and earn money in order to seem like the main earner in the family. And this is without conflicts!
3. The phrase “I myself”
Let a man be stronger more often, today feminists have practically erased gender inequality and husbands have to constantly prove their worth. Wives earn more, distribute the budget, indicate what and how to do, and even remain dissatisfied. The statement “I’d rather do everything myself” is postponed to the subcortex, provoking psychological problems. Constant doubts about one’s own masculinity lead to a decrease in testosterone production, and, therefore, negatively affect libido.
4. Sloppy appearance
It seems to me that comments are superfluous, many magazines covered the topics of unkempt married women. Over the years of living together, the other halves saw us unpainted, caught a cold, watched the application of marsh-green masks and plucking of eyebrows. The main mistake is the belief that your boyfriend should accept you for who you are. Keep in mind that patience is not a sign of approval, an unaesthetic appearance always reduces libido.
5. Misunderstanding
Men are not made of steel. They get tired at work, under stress and often unhappy with the attitude of their superiors. Unlike us, guys don’t tend to complain, but that doesn’t make them less vulnerable. Give your husbands a break, take your hobbies more easily, be it football, fishing or computer games. There is no need to dump information about all your troubles and misadventures from the doorway. Just half an hour of silence works wonders with men, they realize that they have finally reached a safe haven where they can sit out the storm raging in the outside world.
6. The eternal expectation of the prince
Mothers always consider their daughters to be the best and deserving of more. Growing up, we find ourselves gentlemen, but even being in a stable relationship, we continue to dream of knights on white horses. However, in fairy tales they do not write that in the castle the prince takes off his armor and without them looks less majestic. Do not set unattainable goals for a man and do not compare them with invented ideals.
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7. The wrong approach to nutrition
In our country, it is customary to feed a peasant “like for slaughter” – borscht, fatty cutlets, a kilogram portion of pasta. Having eaten to the fullest, I want to take a nap, there is simply not enough strength for sex. In no case do I urge you to go on rigid diets, but I recommend switching to healthy and tasty dishes. Believe me, baked tuna with parsley and walnuts creates unimaginable potency.
In the course of my research, I dug into myself and found all seven of the above bad wife syndromes. The treatment took six months and included: purchasing a subscription to a fitness club, updating wardrobe, a new haircut and a revision of values. Sex has ceased to be a heavy burden, but has become a favorite process for both participants. The boyfriend pays attention to me again and holds on to our relationship. Of course, from time to time I dream of a fairytale life with Robert Downey Jr. or George Clooney, but I never mix fiction with reality.