In what other situations in everyday life, in dealing with people, is it necessary to cope with emotions and hold a pause?
In quarrel
As Bernard Shaw said , “The upbringing of a man or woman is tested by how they behave during a quarrel.” Well, this is for you to note: how does he manifest himself during a quarrel? Always treated you like a queen, and “suddenly”, as soon as you dared to express your opinion, began to cover you with what the light was, and then explain it with your heightened emotionality and your bad character?
What about you? Follow yourself, analyze yourself! Perhaps the gentle lady of the first dates turns into a Manka the milkmaid at the first “sounds of the horn”? Then it can be understood …
Both parties are to blame for the fact that a quarrel has occurred – after all, everyone has their own version of events, their own truth. Everything written about the dispute is equally applicable to quarrels / scandals.
However, the situation when you quarreled with your loved one and you stopped communicating causes panic in many women. The usual questions in such situations: “And what do I do now”, “Calling itself or wait until the call is it?” “And if he does not call?”, “What is this – the end or not?”, “Why is he does not call and does not apologize? “…
In general, the main thing is this. And this, believe me, is the most important thing. If he offended you, or (which is the same in this case) you feel offended and want him to understand this, read on carefully.
Do not think whether he will call or not. Do not think how much you need to pause! If you call him yourself , you will never know whether he was actually planning to call you yourself. A pause is primarily a check of contact with a person. Yes Yes!
It is a pause that checks the contact and interest of a man in you. This is the most important.
In the worst case, you will understand – is he interested in you (and how much) or not! And this – believe me – is not the worst result … Why don’t you have a man very interested in you?
Words are often weaker than silence. In silence there is expressiveness and your unconditional assessment of the situation. Sometimes, instead of waving hands, screaming, throwing scary words, throwing revealing SMS, calls and letters, trying to “figure it out” and “bring the scoundrel to clean water”, you just need to shut up, look into your eyes for 3 seconds, turn around, silently leave and … disappear from his life.
And take a break! And do not get in touch, under any circumstances ! Do not answer anything, go about your business, defiantly not noticing the “raging sea” around, including its silence. You will say so much more than a stream of uncontrolled words and emotional monologues.
If you want to show that you are offended , there is no better way than silence. In addition, this is also a game – who will “sit out” whom. “Peresidit” you he – believe me, be sorry a hundred times. He will remember this not at the good time (at the following quarrels), he will not respect you either , they say, not proud enough. So here it is …
Purely for prevention
Well, from time to time you need to pause and … just for prevention. And in general, it is worth showing love “through a pause” – after all, cheap and affordable goods are not appreciated. This, of course, does not apply to sex – by no means! If you decide that sex will be (and if you brought a man to this) – the stupidest mistake would be to back up when he already, sorry, took off his underpants. He will not understand your “pride” and least of all at that moment he will be ready to understand your uh … prevention.
And 100% of men will consider you “kindergarten” and “dynamo” – and they will never forgive you! And here is my opinion – and they will be … right. Surrender to this process to the fullest! In this matter you should not be just sincere – you should be completely open, able to receive and give pleasure here and now, without thinking about the future. You have to make it clear to your man that you are really good with him. And you have to do a lot to make you feel good together. But this is … a separate issue.
Returning to the prevention of pauses … For example, I know one married couple, where the wife replied coquettishly and mysteriously for 20 years to the husband’s remark “I love you!” “I also like you very much.” And her husband wanted to conquer her all their life together, he could not calm down – how could it be, he loves her, and she just liked her! Take your time with the words “love” and “forever.” Let him tell you! Although … to say at a certain moment that he is the best will never hurt.
In general, do not rush to express your “great love”, but in sex know how to be the best for him and make it clear to him that he is the best and the only one for you .
Do not overdo it, again . Yes, of course, you can win a man by starving admiration, but then do not be surprised why he does not believe and does not trust you – after all, it is you who tirelessly admire him (which is suspicious), and not he, and then … Men are very sensitive! And sooo complex! If he knows (God forbid) that you have at least not even the 35th, he simply won’t believe it when you will sincerely sing praises to him about his unique skills and qualities and say that he is the best! You don’t always need to say it directly – let him understand this by his behavior in bed (well, ok, you can emphasize the special nuances inherent only to him, which really no one has – every man has such features!). It is in sex that it is very important to be open and sincere.
In general – pauses, pauses, and again pauses in everything except sex (I mean the process itself)! This is a “territory of revelations”, and, I repeat, this topic is yet to come …
And returning to the benefits of pauses – it’s very important: never think and worry about “How long should I keep this pause?” When is it better to get in touch? ”
Remember what the heroine Vija Artmane said in the movie “Theater”?
“If you take a break , hold it as much as you can!”
If there is love, passion in the relationship, no pause will kill them. In mature relationships, in times of crisis, pauses are sometimes good, they make you re-evaluate and rethink relationships and their value, and restore mutual understanding. But the “dead” relationship pause, most likely, will finish. But maybe this is for the better?
If you paused at the right time , it means that the lesson is passed, the skill is developed. “A need for life .”
This skill is not so difficult to learn. Of course, it would be nice to take a few lessons from professionals from the psychology of communication, but for starters, independent work on yourself will provide changes for the better. The main thing is not to be afraid and go forward!