Sex toys is a huge market for high-tech products that do not need to be certified, tested and proven to be effective and reliable. Even security does not need to be proven.
There are no generally accepted evaluation criteria, and state controllers do not require clear indicators.
There cannot be a Dieselgate and they do not brand Rosstandart. How does it still work?
On parole!
And also on marketing budgets pouring in advertising designed to convince consumers: this device will bring him incredible pleasure. And if you do not buy it, then nothing pleasant will be achieved.
Shock rating
We present a short top of products that are made so stupidly that only the most notorious fans will be able to get an orgasm with them. Able to get excited from a simple touch of something vibrating.
And who – if not us – will tell you honestly about this ?!
Worst Anal Stimulator
Anal stimulator Rapier Plug
Thin silicone stick on a weak suction cup.
It penetrates easily – and falls into full length.
Expands? No, it is thin at the base.
Fills out? She has nothing.
Massaging from the inside out? Do not let the picture fool you: it cannot be massaged, because it bends too easily.
One consolation: the Rapier Plug is not expensive at all.
Worst vaginal balls
Gold Balls
Plastic, noisy – the “nucleolus” inside rolls almost with a roar – with a seam along the equator of each ball, and even with a rag tie rope.
But – glossy gold and are worth nothing.
Therefore, buyers forgive them the potential danger (you can bring an infection), and obsolete design.
But we do not advise you to purchase, and most importantly, use Golden vaginal balls.
Worst Clitoral Stimulator
Clitoral stimulator Magic Motion Candy Silicone fuchsia body with a special “heel” lying on the clitoris. Very expensive vibrocell: with built-in rechargeable battery and Bluetooth module. It can be hidden in pink silicone, turned on, connected to your own smartphone and from there you can control an infinite number of operating modes. Holds a charge – an entire hour! But. To stay in shorts – where it is intended to be placed exactly opposite the sensitive areas of the body – here, his designers did not teach this. It slides, falls out, and if it can be fixed, then it rubs when walking. The vibratory element from Magic Motion Candy is better to get out of the pink shell and use as a mini-vibrator separately. But was it worth it to lay out that kind of money?
Worst Masturbator
PipeDream Vibrating Silicone Head-Master The
American company Pipedream is known for its brilliant sex toy inventions, which it sells at a very reasonable price.
But this coin also has a flip side: in the same catalog with excellent tools, many simple products in fashionable packaging are mixed, and sometimes frank failures come across.
Black silicone vibrator for the head of the penis: put on like a nightcap on the head, and begins to vibrate. No devices are provided for a dense organ coverage, but a whole rainbow of erotic experiences is promised.
Unfortunately, the device is really effective in the same place as the prototype of this form – the plunger. In clearing blockages.
Counting on whom the company launches this on the market? The question is rhetorical.
Worst vibro ring
PornHub Turbo Cock Ring
An erection ring worn on the penis without capturing the scrotum is, in principle, not the most interesting invention.
If you add a vibration element to such a ring, it doesn’t get better: the heavier the ring, the more it pulls the penis down and – it turns out – it interferes with an erection.
Vibration? Here she does not bring strong sensations, but distracts attention very seriously. Rather, it is a joke than an aphrodisiac.
Well, if the vibroelement is comparable in size and weight to the penis itself, then we get a real monstrous nightmare: Turbo Cock Ring, which was launched by PornHub under its own brand.
And one could consider it simply an unsuccessful toy, if not for the price. The sky-high price that a porn site number one in the world requires for its name on a stupid tool.
Worst intimate lubrication
Pjur Myglide
The usual water-glycerin base, ordinary thickeners, ginseng root extract, designed to excite a woman with vaginal use of this intimate lubricant, and then … A
strange flavor with a marked allergenicity: benzyl alcohol. This is grease, why does it need an artificial smell?
But even further – a complete collection of cosmetic preservatives: benzoic acid, phenoxyethanol and four parabens. And the cherry on the cake is the dye “Red Number 4” (what is the color of intimate lubricant for?), Which is permissible to use only in rinse-off cosmetics. Because if it accumulates in the body, it can become harmful.
And all this is Myglide from the German brand Pjur. Think Before You Buy.