The main fears of forty, which we quickly dispel with the help of sexologists.
You are aware that since the time of the “maturity” of your parents, the average life expectancy in the country has increased by six to seven years? And not life in general, but an active and able-bodied life. Including genital. The proverb “40 years – the Indian age” became obsolete back in the sixties. That’s how hormonal contraception was invented, and so outdated. The average age of menopause in our time is 53 years. Then (theoretically) you can start to worry about sex. And then if you do not take into account such powerful factors as hormone replacement therapy for women and men.
You, for example, hormone phobia. Or you have a set of medical contraindications for administering progesterone or testosterone from the outside. And still, in our time, women’s problems with hydration and men’s with an erection are just a reason for new experiments: you have a whole arsenal of lubricants, he has … And he has such a set of high-tech gadgets that you will be excruciatingly painful for the years normally lived. Could have tried all this 20 years ago, but decided only now! When people are young and still not well aware of each other, they are embarrassed to experiment with toys from a sex shop. Here you need trust. And it reaches the right size in ten years of living together …
Yes, and all sorts of other problems of the forties, such as “empty nest syndrome”, “midlife crisis” and “gray hair in a beard – a demon in the ribs” in our time and not problems at all, but rather, solutions.
Hormonal problems can be solved with the help of a healthy lifestyle and a good doctor. But in our sexuality there is a lot of social, in each generation the conditions are different.
Sex will be less
The level of sex hormones has decreased markedly after 30 – and yes, you will not, like teenagers, want and be able to always and everyone. In the previous 10-15 years, you simply did not pay attention to it: behind the wall are children, or even parents. Work for wear, five hours for sleep. Sex twice a week seemed to be an additional burden to the main life circumstances … And suddenly – clap! – the children grew up and often do not spend the night at home (well, albeit not at their loved ones, but already in the camps and trips without you for two months). The work has stabilized. The nerves calmed down. You already can do everything and still can … And sex is still only twice a week. We assure you, this is not a reason for panic. All is well. Even better than it was.
Age-related sex is better, more diverse, aimed at obtaining pleasure from the process, and not at quick discharge. Here is another sensation of sexuality, much higher sensuality.
In normal stable pairs, the foreplay becomes longer with age, and caresses are more sophisticated. It is because of a decrease in hormonal levels that in order to achieve the same level of erection in men and moisture in women, it is necessary to conduct a large (but pleasant) preliminary work. Do not neglect it.
The husband will go to a young
The main sex problem of previous generations was that they married early and avoided premarital sex. As a result, after spending a quarter of a century in the same pose with the same woman, the man began to grieve about missed chances: I did not try oral sex, I did not try anal sex , mulattos, blondes, redheads … I didn’t try anything! Here there was a demon in the rib and an attempt to catch up.
Current (religiously condemned) manners suggest that both men and women have time to try a lot before the wedding. And at the age of 40, they are not covered by suffering over missed chances (at least in the sexual sphere). Although, of course, the thirst for experiment is exacerbated: time is running out, and there is so much more interesting in the world. Wasting time looking for a girl ready to experiment? Pffff! There is a wife!
A man after 40 years old is looking for thrills and wants to get sex that was not available before. Ready for various sex experiments: role-playing games, BDSM, female domination, prostate massage, group sex …
Offer him such a young mistress, at best she will run away, at worst she will call the police. Whether it’s a proven battle girlfriend. If you are many years old, then most likely you have been together for many years and can trust each other. In any case, he can be sure that fastening his handcuffs to the battery, you will not clean the cabinets and do not run away. This is one of the main advantages of a long stable marriage.
Health will not allow
Let’s be honest: two hours of continuous frictions, when you are over forty – this is a load worse than jogging … And, accordingly, you always have the opportunity to choose: run or frictions. Some kind of cardio load is still necessary. Some acrobatic poses will be more difficult than in youth (especially if you haven’t practiced very diligently in the previous 10 years). But you have an alternative. Even many alternatives.
Using sex toys in adulthood is a good move to bring something new to your relationship.
But sex is becoming an important indicator of health. First of all, the cardiovascular system. Here everything is in detail: if the erection has decreased, then the erection rings are, of course, good. Well, it is better to visit a cardiologist and endocrinologist.
Women of previous generations often after 40 years used sexual abstinence as the main method of contraception, because they literally had no sex. Many are still convinced that it is dangerous to take birth control after 35 years, and giving birth after 40 is even more dangerous … In fact, WHO recommends the use of hormonal contraceptives up to the onset of menopause (an average of 53 years), and then hormone replacement therapy. Yes, and condoms are now much more affordable than in the USSR, so you no longer need to refuse sex under pain of late pregnancy.
And in general, under no fear need to refuse sex.