What to do if there is no orgasm in sex, but when masturbation is?

Some women do not enjoy having a man in bed, but they may experience orgasm during masturbation. How to make a difference, how to learn to have fun with a partner? It is worthwhile to understand the causes of the problem and fix it.

Causes

The reason for the lack of orgasms can be a great many. You can highlight the most common:

  • 1. Distrust of the partner. Shame, constraint can be the cause of tension, which prevents full relaxation. 
  • 2. Wrong actions. Short foreplay, insufficient stimulation, wrong posture – all this can interfere with orgasm. 
  • 3. The habit of strong influences. If sex toys, showers or other materials at hand are used in the process of masturbation, feelings with a partner may seem less intense. It is difficult to repeat similar stimulation in a pair, therefore there is no desired ending. 

Other reasons may be size mismatches, lack of emotional connection, boredom. But whatever the reason, everything can be fixed.

No stimulation needed

If the problem is that with a man everything is not so intense, masturbation seems more enjoyable, you need to reduce the strength of the effect. A vibrator at full power or a shower is never equal to a man, so it is important to start choosing other methods to achieve a peak in solitude. And it’s also worth trying to learn how to get an orgasm in a pair, the following methods will help:

  • To talk. An honest dialogue will allow you to start looking for solutions together. You can try new movements, poses or sex toys. 
  • Add new sensations. Here it is worth offering a new device, not a role-playing game, not BDSM, but an object that will powerfully affect erogenous zones. 
  • Refuse masturbation. After 1-2 weeks, a strong sexual hunger will appear, and even ordinary sex will lead to orgasm. Of course, there will be a moment of serious discomfort at the beginning, but you can distract from it. 

The ideal solution is to seek a way out together, but this is not always possible. Therefore, you can begin to fantasize in the process, it also sometimes helps to reach a peak.

If he does something wrong

If the reason for the lack of orgasm in his actions, the dialogue cannot be avoided. You need to tell your partner what is wrong, and then also tell them – but what is the right thing?

The conversation should not consist of claims. This is not an indictment. It is worth talking about yourself , about your feelings, feelings. And also about desires. It is unacceptable to demand something, you need to offer to look for a way out together. But in order to tell the man the right actions, you need to analyze yourself what you like. Masturbation should become more conscious so that you can explain with words what to do, how to move. In achieving orgasm help sex toys . For example, a vacuum stimulator will allow you to enjoy with a partner. He will massage the clitoris without obstructing penetration.    

Lack of trust

If the problem is not in sex, but in relationships, honest conversation will also be required . And no techniques and toys will help if there is no mutual understanding. Sometimes the help of a psychologist is required to sort things out. Personal complexes also need to be addressed not in sex, but in increasing self-esteem . A variety of psychological trainings will help you learn to love yourself, overcome modesty and shame. What if there is no orgasm with a man? Start looking for a way out. If it turns out to experience pleasure in solitude, then there is a way to mutual high. With the help of sex toys and honest discussion, it turns out that most couples can cope with the problem. 

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