Why does sexual disharmony arise in marriage?

I have two news for you: good and bad. Let’s start, as usual, with a bad one. According to sociological studies, an average Russian family with more than 5 years of experience in marriage spends 2.6 minutes a week on sex, usually on Sunday morning (it is interesting that men spend ten times more on shaving).

It is no secret that for the majority of women who are not married for the first time, sex is transformed from the greatest pleasure into a dull marital duty. “Well, where is the good news?” – you ask. Here it is: this situation can be corrected.  

But first, let’s talk about why sexual disharmony so often becomes the destiny of stable, long-lived couples. The reason, it turns out, lies on the surface – the whole point is the notorious difference between a man and a woman. We look, think, feel and act differently, our erotic desires and ways of their realization are also very different. 

We know firsthand that female sexuality is based on subtle sensations and subtle nuances, we care about tenderness, delicacy and, above all, emotional closeness with a partner (let a man look like a real sex symbol, but if he is human to a woman unpleasant, the proximity between them will almost certainly not take place).

Male eroticism is much simpler. Whatever our halves say, in fact, they are only happy with a short-lived, but intense stimulation of a couple of points of their courageous body (guess for yourself). Therefore, so often the exchange of foreplay resembles a dialogue between a blind man and a deaf. You will shower your beloved with trembling kisses (in a word, do what you like), and he, in turn, will vigorously crush and rub those 2-3 points of your body that he considers the most erogenous. You will surely get tired, but the fact that you enjoy is not obvious.  

Do you know why such a mess occurs in our desires and methods of their implementation? Yes, because in bed we are ready with our husbands to discuss anything, but not proximity itself. No, so that showering a man with caresses, whispering to him: “Do me the same”, we patiently wait for his move. After waiting, we are just as patiently waiting for him to “shoot himself.” And sometimes we, imitating the heroines of erotic films, expressively moan and moo to make our partner pleasant.   

In fact, men, albeit unconsciously, but always able to distinguish true passion from a well-played performance. So, if the partner’s gestures give you an unpleasant sensation, do not be silent about this. Nobody needs your victims. Indeed, only one in which partners receive mutual pleasure can be considered truly good sex.

There is one problem – the discrepancy in time that is needed to “warm up” a man and a woman: half an hour to you and only a couple of minutes to him. Remember, it’s not you who should catch up with him, it is he who must be patient and bring you to “condition”. Let him caress you exactly as much time as you need it, and most importantly, so that you do not rush yourself, but relax and enjoy. And do not strive for simultaneous orgasm – I will tell you a secret that it was invented by the creators of erotic films. In real life, it also happens, but rather as an exception than a rule.    

There are no established rules in sex once and for all – it doesn’t matter who first comes to the finish line. And do not worry about the temporary lack of desire. Wait, it will definitely return, especially if you do not rape your nature, portraying a burning passion. Better rare but high-quality sex than regular and boring. But if the desire does not come, then this is a serious matter – most likely, this partner is no longer interesting to you either as a person or as a lover.  

Therefore, do not be afraid and make various changes to your intimate life boldly.
I wish you all the best! Good luck!

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