What would we talk about during sex?

The main and most favorite pastime of a man and a woman who are in the same bed is talking. After sex and sleep, of course .  

But talking during sex is what distinguishes people from animals. Although it’s not very distinguishing, if we talk about all these slurred exclamations: “Oh, ah! Yes! U! ” – they are, on the contrary, very much related to us with the animal world. Affectionate sussing, rude interjections, enthusiasm and sobbing – all these are also slightly evolved echoes of the call of our ancestral beasts. Both sex itself and its deep meaning point us to the fact that coherent informative sentences during this lesson are so untypical in such a situation that they almost always look ridiculous. Moreover, topics for talking in bed are quite limited, I personally highlight the five most idiotic things about which you can talk in bed.    

In fifth place is commenting on what is happening. Encouraging words, like: “How I like inside you, my baby! Oh, how wonderful you can do it ”and discouraging statements:“ Something is rough with you, oh, it ‘s mine … ”“ No, you turn around so that your legs overlap with your arms and are behind your head. ”I personally always start strain from such comments, they seem to require an answer or some action, but how to react, in a fit of the situation, you can’t figure it out. I remember: We are lying with him somehow, already tired of body movements and various incarnations of the basic instinct, and he so wearily wearily asks: “What else do you want, what do you like?” I immediately respond: “Take your passport and go to REGISTRY OFFICE – we ’ll file a statement! ” MORE: For the first time we were left alone with him, he quietly began to pester. He reaches for my chest, I grab his hand and, wanting to delay targeted harassment, I say: “I have small breasts …” He immediately replies: “I have a small member!” I am discouraged, he continues the process.   

In fourth place – mat. When in bed they say: “my [censored] sweet [censored]”, or “[censored] me [censored] [censored] as [censored]” or simply “[censored] [censored] [censored] and [censored]” , especially if it is done by a person from whom you cannot hear such words under normal conditions, it makes you start and strain. I remember: When he began to swear in ecstasy, I could not stand it, stopped the process and said: “I’m mussed in bed – sex is not chess!” We did not play chess or sex anymore. 

In third place is the habit of singing along or repeating behind a TV or a music center, in general, with any included audio-video equipment. This habit is explained very simply: it seems that what is playing on the TV or in the center is more interesting than what is happening in bed. I remember: During THIS, he somehow automatically switched to the tempo of the sounding song and I was so carried away by this rhythm that I did not notice how I began to sing along. He also liked this song, and he in turn sang. Sex turned into a chorus. 

In second place are conversations on everyday topics. This is a very common topic for jokes and jokes. And what to do if you need to talk and relax, and this takes little time. They say that for spouses this is a common thing. I remember: He and I enthusiastically discussed the intricacies of the repairs that had to be done in our apartment, during this conversation dinner was held and we were completely imperceptible – familiarly – in bed. The repair topic was so interesting and relevant that we could not stop our conversation about it. But, suddenly finding that we had been having sex for a long time, I embarrassedly suggested: “Maybe we’ll talk tomorrow?” And then we get some kind of too … family … sex. “  

In the first place is the confusion with the names. This is the parable of the town. The most common misconception is that if you were called by a different name, then you were cheated. But everything is much simpler. Why do people confuse names? Because there are many names, and the person to whom you need to turn is one. I remember: Somehow this pleasant process found us in the kitchen. And suddenly, in a fit of passion, he whispers to me: “Anna, Annushka!” I was offended, and very much! I jealously said: “I’m not Anna! What Annushka is! ”She took the first plastic bottle that came across and, as if in jest, hit him on the forehead. The bottle was not only unclosed, but also with sunflower oil. His comment was: “Well, you give, Bulgakov!” MORE: And once I went to Slovakia to a ski resort. It so happened that a friend flew on a plane, and I went on the train in splendid isolation. A very nice companion was in the compartment with me, and closer to the night, already quite excited with drinks, we muddied something like a petting. And at some point, the inspired young man whispered passionately: “How good I am with you, but … oh …” – and stopped short because I forgot my name. “Don’t worry, ” I reassured him, “I don’t remember your name either.”    

Speech has been given to us from above, and the word is that which was at the beginning. We are sentient beings, precisely because we are able to say this out loud! So talk, talk and chat or enjoy wordless sex a la wildlife. After all, this is not the main thing in the end!   

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