Oh, these love relationships! How many weddings have been played, how many fates are broken – how lucky anyone is. And it all starts with romantic meetings, where he and she know each other …
A typical story that can be heard from many women:
“I was seeking for a very long time … then I didn’t know that he was married.”
“When I found out that he has a wife, he said that he was telling me, but I, it turns out, dumb, did not understand him. In short, she’s to blame herself … “
“We again began to meet with the condition that he divorced as soon as possible … Months passed, and then I find out that his wife should give birth in 2-3 months!”
“He didn’t want to divorce his wife and break off relations with me, too.”
“There was nothing to love him, to be honest. He only knew how to speak beautiful words and cause trouble! ”
Let’s go through the thesis on the most important points that will nurture your understanding of the issue and will come up with thoughts on how to correct what is happening.
The principle of “cover your ears”
What is this about? This is about the fact that a man in the courtship process most of the time is absolutely, not at all, and irreversibly inadequate.
What does “inadequate” mean?
- This means that a riot of passion overshadowed his already constricted consciousness.
- This means that he has no clear justification for why you are “the most wonderful / unusual / best / beautiful.”
- This means that feelings are a rod, but he can hardly say why you could be a good wife for him without calling a friend or the help of the audience.
There is nothing reprehensible in this. A common occurrence. But for you, this means that your little cute ears need to be temporarily “covered.” Not quite close, but still listen. But do not attach much importance.
Yes, on dates he says such beautiful and pleasant things that he wants to instantly make him his hero (or even husband) until the end of his days. However … stop, do not drive horses.
“Weathercocks” and “Sustainable”
Hand on heart, we can say that sex interests almost all healthy men for whom it is available. It’s just that someone needs it more, and someone less.
So, there is a huge group of males whose degree of preoccupation with sex is directly related to the degree of preoccupation with the same issue of the woman with whom fate brought him.
But there is also another group – much less numerous and therefore more valuable. Let’s call them Sustainable. As the name implies, these comrades are practically not amenable to female influence. They have their own internal guidelines, and it does not matter to them how elegantly and skillfully they flirt with them, and what kind of booty they turn in front of them. Because they are sustainable.
But there are few of them. The bulk of men are typical “Weathercocks”, which behave “according to the situation.”
- If a woman is modest, restrained and behaves with dignity, then they treat her accordingly.
- If her breasts are “wide open” and she, flirting, constantly showers the man with sexual signals, then he becomes an ordinary lascivious male. What women often complain about , they say, all of them need only one thing.
What they caught – they got it! After all, what is literate flirting? This ability to accidentally give your sexuality a little bit to come to the fore. Literally for a few seconds, or even for a split second.
So what is next? Next – “rollback” back on the principle of “there was nothing.”
But this is a whole art. Complicated! Therefore, we better fill the peasant with a stream of unambiguous hints (at the level of movements, looks, intonations, words , etc.), and then we will be surprised: “Again, the next preoccupied – there are no normal ones …”
“Once again, they began to meet with the condition that he divorces as soon as possible …”
Super. Is this condition written somewhere? Are there sanctions for not fulfilling the condition? Or, perhaps, the abstract interval “as quickly as possible” is defined in days?
None of this, say? Then you look like a naive Chukchi girl who knows nothing about men.
Essentially, you say:
“Ok, I will sleep with you. And you there, as you can, still try to get a divorce. But even if you don’t want to, or you will pull, it’s not known how much – it’s okay. I won’t leave you from bed. ”
Remember how it was in “12 chairs”? In the morning money – in the evening chairs. First – the fulfillment of the condition, then – “bun”.
You give your “chairs” in advance – according to the principle “in the morning chairs – in the evening money”, and you run a big risk of not getting what it was all about.
Why would he get a divorce? Because of a lot of love for you? Not the fact that she even exists, but you already promised him to “meet”.
So it turns out that in a few months you will find out that his wife is pregnant and he is not going to divorce her, and you remain “in reserve”. Unless, of course, it suits you.
To believe or not to believe?
The answer is: do not tempt .
Speaks beautiful words and cares? Great, let’s look after. He will invest more energy – he will love more. Or do you yourself want to drown high feelings in a man and quickly tie him to yourself with sex? Think about it.
Suppose you no longer resist physical intimacy. It is clear that this was so. Now what? See how he will behave if, starting from this moment, his courtship does not lead to sex for a long time.
What has he become? Has it changed ? He began to feel cooler and almost disappeared into the fog, or, as before, takes care, communicates with you, spends time , etc. Do you feel the internal (or even external) aggression emanating from him, or is he still benevolent to you ?
I think you get the idea.
Girls, “Weathercocks” and so many. And you yourself do not really like them. How many of you will be impressed by a guy or a man who endlessly jumps from branch to branch and is looking for where to eat deliciously?
Yesterday it is she, today it is you, tomorrow it is still some kind of it. And so on. It’s like in that joke: “I’m not a doctor, but I can see . “
You didn’t give up to him at all as a woman. He doesn’t see his wife in you, and in general he’s not ready yet, but he can “see” it. And you are glad …
Therefore, so that there are no disappointments and months (or even years) of life lowered into the toilet, directly ask if he is married and ask for a passport.
You do not hesitate to ask the minibus driver where she is going? No. You just need to understand where you are coming. What is the problem with the man? What prevents you from finding out whether his permanent navigator’s seat is free next to him, or the maximum you can count on is becoming the next passenger in his minibus?
“Here you are such an interesting man all of you and … are you really not married? Well, lay out the truth! ”
With humor, with some irony. With ease. Is it hard? Not at all.
Are you single / divorced? Ok, you can build a relationship. No? Then not now. If something changes for you , let me know, and then we’ll see.
Do not mess with the Weathercocks. They are always wound from woman to woman (or from family to mistress). Now it’s perhaps flattering you if you’re a lover, but think about what will happen if you suddenly become his wife …
It is clear that the constant subconscious desire for “weathercocks” can be your destiny in order to work out your inner shoals, and you won’t do anything here – you must pass the exam. But if you have already “caught” a pattern in your life, then maybe it’s easier to work on yourself normally once and stop hitting yourself on the forehead with the same spoon?
- Filter the beautiful words of the boyfriends and treat your enthusiasm with healthy skepticism.
- Avoid the “Weathercocks” and do not rock them even more – husbands of average lousiness are obtained from them.
- Pay tribute to “Sustainable” and look for the opportunity to build mature, conscious relationships with them – in the long term, these are excellent, reliable husbands.