Until a few decades ago, in sexual practice, people who try non-traditional sex were often called perverts. Over time, sexologists have revised their views on intimacy. In the 21st century, rudeness during sex is treated with loyalty.
Deciphering the abbreviation BDSM
The word is deciphered based on the application of practiced actions:
- “B” is translated – bandage
- “DS” – dominance and submissive
- “M” is masochism.
Based on these transcripts, it becomes clear that this practice involves the infliction of pain, involves complete submission, on the part of the oppressed.
The opinion of psychologists about masochism
Whether such behavior is considered a deviation from the norm or not, worries people. According to a study conducted by Pamela Connolly in 2006, it became clear that people who actively practice BDSM are not much more likely to suffer from depression. People do not have a feeling of anxiety and concern. Dissatisfaction with the state of life is noted not as often as people who practice regular sex. But, from pride and personality disorder, BDSM lovers suffer much more often than ordinary people.
A 2008 worldwide study conducted in Australia was created to refute Connelly’s conclusion, but failed to prove a link between BDSM, past problems and sexual deviance.
According to the International Classification, BDSM is included in the list of diseases that are usually classified as mental disorders. However, scientists in the 21st century are increasingly making claims that people who practice these skills do not suffer from a sick psyche. And the scientific work done by Pamela Connelly confirms this fact.
Relatively recently, scientists have come to the conclusion that it is wrong to consider BDSM as a sexual deviation. Occupation by them rather reflects the position of a person and a special sexual affiliation. You should not associate a person who practices such sex with a victim of violence.
A study of the psychological characteristics of people engaged in BDSM showed that, compared with people practicing ordinary sex, the indicators are higher and more favorable.
The studied group of people revealed: a cheerful attitude to life and an active position. Such people have a greater sense of compassion for a partner, extraversion is manifested and they are ready for new achievements and discoveries. Indicators of negative characteristics that have exceeded the norm for dominants are narcissism and the lack of the ability to make concessions.
But even such data do not provide a basis for the assumption that BDSM carries the manifestation of mental pathologies and personality disorders. It doesn’t matter what consequences the partners expect after it, the main thing is the meaning of what they put into it and what kind of aftertaste the participants have. If this makes people happy and open to life, then you should not limit yourself to this.
Positive aspects of non-traditional sex
People who do not limit their sexual fantasy are less prone to psychological stress, the level of cortisol in the blood is high. They have no problems with sexual arousal, in life, there is mostly a good mood. Despite the fact that during such sex, its participants are immersed in a state of another consciousness, the sensations of the dominant and the submissive are profoundly different.
Dominants feel complete merging with the process of activity, losing control over their own self-awareness. The feeling of the flow in which the dominants reside is described by the psychologist M. Csikszentmihalyi . The submissive , on the other hand , is distinguished by the presence of complete relaxation and enjoyment of the process.
In the process, they are peaceful and feel the enjoyment of life precisely at the moment of the process. The state that people experience during sex is commonly called topspace and subspace . B. Sagarin came to this conclusion in his article for The Guardian magazine.
Is masochism necessary?
The description of the pleasures received attracts a large number of people to start doing it for the first time, but in fact, a person practicing such an activity for the first time may not get the proper pleasure and even be disappointed. However, when should you start?
It is worth taking up the whip with the understanding that people who like it have been practicing such games for quite a long time and their positive effect arises from the degree of interest. For those who have no desire and degree of involvement in the result, BDSM will not bring a positive effect.
Actions may seem rude and violent. Another thing is if a person has an idea for a long period of time and fantasizes about this topic. Then it is worth realizing your thoughts without fear for the result.
An important and invariable rule worth remembering is the mutual consent of partners. Those who frequently practice these activities report the development of close intimacy and trust in relationships and at all levels. But this can be achieved only if the couple agrees on boundaries that cannot be violated.
Beginners should start with simple actions in order to understand what they are interested in and whether it is worth moving on, improving their role-playing games. Such gradual progress helps to avoid violence and mental trauma, which is very important for a submissive partner. After all, it is the guarantee of a trusting relationship that determines the degree of whether you like the practice of BDSM or not.