Sexomnia – a reward or a punishment?

Several years ago, British scientists conducted an interesting experiment: they studied the “sleeping” habits of 13,000 adult British. It turned out that 16% of all respondents systematically make a night voyage to the refrigerator, every seventh admitted that they experienced sleep paralysis (some even stopped breathing for a while), and every tenth respondent indulged in passionate sex in a dream without realizing it.

In nature, there are a huge number of sexual disorders, but you will be surprised to learn that sexomnia has nothing to do with them, since it is, first of all, a sleep disorder, moreover, amenable to treatment.

An unusual form of sleepwalking may seem ridiculous and frivolous to some. But for sex addicts this is a huge problem, ranging from finding a partner who will not be frightened by such nocturnal “adventures”, to the possible criminal liability for sexual intercourse without consent.

What’s the matter here?

What is sexomnia?

If suddenly your other half says that “last night everything was so unexpected, it would be necessary to repeat it somehow,” but you have only one question in your head: what are you talking about? – strain. If the situation repeats itself, take it seriously. If you systematically sexually harass your partner in a dream, and the next morning you don’t remember anything, make an urgent appointment with a doctor, because one day such an “adventure” can play a cruel joke on you.

Sexomnia is a sleep disorder in which the deviant experiences a strong sexual desire or engages in sexual intercourse without realizing it.

At the heart of “sexual sleepwalking” is a chronic failure of the daily routine, prolonged stress or other psychological problems. Sexomnia falls into the category of “parasomnias” – a state where your consciousness gets stuck somewhere between sleep and wakefulness during a night’s rest. In fact, the body is awake, in reality – quite the opposite.

Symptoms of sexomnia

Let’s immediately point out that wet dreams, conscious masturbation or caressing in a dream have nothing to do with “sexual sleepwalking”. The difficulty in identifying this disorder is that a person can only learn about it from loved ones (partner, parents, roommates, or friends).

Here are some of the behaviors characteristic of sexomnia (all of these situations occur directly during sleep):

prelude to sex;

unconscious masturbation;

movements imitating sexual intercourse;


more aggressive and assertive behavior than usual;

absent gaze during an intimate process;

after waking up, all memories of “night adventures” are missing.

Reasons for deviant behavior

Scientists have not yet figured out what exactly is the main trigger that provokes the development of sexomnia. Most likely, a whole range of factors can become the source of such an atypical disorder:

high levels of stress and anxiety;

lack of sleep;

bad habits;

taking certain medications (especially if they were purchased independently, without consulting a doctor);

certain medical conditions (epilepsy, parasomnia, migraine, head injury, restless legs syndrome).

Why is unconscious sex dangerous?

Remember: night stalking is not at all a cute, unusual “trick” of a partner, but a serious disorder that can have consequences both for the sleepwalker himself and for his potential “victim”.

And if for women “sexual sleepwalking” is fraught with unconscious masturbation or ordinary (well, maybe more passionate) sex, then for men in this state instincts come to the fore: to satisfy sexual desire at any cost.

In criminal and medical practice, numerous cases of rude behavior and even rape are known, the cause of which was precisely sexomnia. But this diagnosis did not always save the accused from real criminal punishment. So it is better not to hesitate, but to make an appointment with a doctor on time.

Where to go for help?

So, let’s agree: we had a wonderful night and the next day remember everything in the smallest detail – great, everything is in order with you!

But if, without suspecting anything, you wander into the kitchen for breakfast in the morning, while feeling tired and exhausted, as if you did not rest at all, and then you meet your eyes with a partner who looks at you in a strange way, and then asks: ” what was that? “… and this is not the first time this situation has happened – make an appointment with an experienced doctor.

As we already said, sexomnia is a sleep disorder, so for help you can turn to a psychotherapist (he will tell you how to get rid of chronic stress), a therapist (he will direct you to the right doctor, perhaps advise you to get tested or undergo the necessary examination), a sleep doctor (your target doctor, it is he who deals with sleep disorders).

How is the diagnosis carried out?

Before making an appointment with a sleep doctor, ask your partner to observe your sleep behavior for a certain time. The smallest details are important: how long the attack lasted, how quickly and how it ended, how you behaved at that moment, perhaps made sounds, made strange movements, or your behavior had other characteristic features. This information will help the doctor establish the correct diagnosis and prescribe the necessary examination. By the way, about him.

Various sleep disorders are diagnosed with special tests. The most important of these is polysomnography, which records the following indicators:

brain waves (rhythms);

heart rate;

breathing pattern;

movements of the eyes and limbs.

Polysomnography is performed during sleep to track changes in the above characteristics in different sleep phases, so you will have to “sleep” at the medical center for some time. Usually, one night is sufficient for a diagnosis and a treatment protocol.

Doctor, will I live?

Sexomnia has been successfully treated for a long time, the main thing is to start following the doctor’s recommendations on time. Often, working with the main triggers that triggered sleep and wakefulness disruptions helps to get rid of the main problem in a short time.

What a sleep doctor has to offer:

Adjust the therapy for the main diseases affecting the quality of night rest (epilepsy, restless legs syndrome, etc.).

Review all medications you are taking (such as sleeping pills or antidepressants). The failure of the regime can be a side effect of one of them.

Take care of your mental health: eliminate stress, stabilize your emotional state, work on problems that cause anxiety or depression.

Medication. With your medical record and medical history in hand, the doctor will prescribe medications that will correct the current problem and even eliminate it forever.

In addition to the treatment prescribed by your doctor, consider how you can help yourself cope with the unusual condition.

Here are some actionable tips:

Be honest with your loved ones about your illness and how you intend to deal with it. This will demonstrate to them that you are serious about the problem.

Take care of your partner’s safety during treatment. At a minimum, sleep in separate rooms.

The use of alcohol and any type of drug can stimulate the manifestations of sexomnia. Eliminating these bad habits will be a great addition to traditional treatments.

Create a daily routine that will help regulate your sleep, and stick to it steadily. Go to bed and wake up at the same time, allocating at least 7-8 hours of rest for the night.

And finally …

Don’t get hysterical after learning from your partner some of the details of last night. But it is also not necessary to ignore the alarming “bells”. Sexomnia is considered a fairly rare disease (only 1% of the world’s inhabitants unconsciously engage in sexual intercourse in a dream), perhaps this is because many sex people are simply afraid to advertise what they think is abnormal behavior.

In any case, sleep disturbance (in whatever form it manifests itself) is one of the signs of a malfunction in the body that requires treatment and control. Enlist the support of loved ones and choose a competent specialist, adjust the daily routine and say goodbye to bad habits. If you are persistent in your desire to get rid of sexomnia, then endless nights full of love and quality sex will await you. Only you will never forget about him.

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