You can often see such cases: everyone falls in love with a beautiful, smart, charming girl, but no one expresses their intention to create a family with her. The reasons may be different, and not always the problem lies in the woman.
So why do they marry some, and walk with others?
It is important not only to be with a man, but also to be with him at the right time in his life – when he is ready for marriage. It happens that a break occurs, which a man regrets, but still marries the one who was next to him at the time of “maturing,” psychoanalysts comment on the problem.
Presence of competitors
The desire to marry is warmed up if there are other contenders for the hand of the beloved. And if the lady of the heart married another, the decision to marry herself is also strengthened.
The laws of jealousy do not always work here, there is something else – for example, a psychological attitude towards a long-term relationship.
Factors of age and social success
There is a certain line after which most men think about marriage, even if outwardly they do not admit it. After 30-35, thoughts come about creating a family with an eye on friends and the experience of parents. And if your companion is young, then he is unlikely to marry simply because of his craving for freedom, because there is still a lot of time ahead. You need to earn money for housing, a car, find a place in the sun and make a career – this is often not very compatible with marriage experiments.
Searching for deep feelings
You can’t build a marriage on physical attraction alone. Or it will be short lived.
When husbands describe their wives, and grooms describe their brides, they mainly note their personal qualities (“faithful”, “soft”, “soulful”, “supports me”). Men who are not in the mood for marriage describe their companions with an emphasis on appearance (“sexy”, “stunning”, “spectacular”, “slim”).
The wife should be well-groomed, presentable, but should not cause too much excitement with her attractiveness. This is the main criterion of family life – trust and reliability.
Even the most independent man at heart listens to the opinion of relatives, mother and father, friends. If the image of the bride does not match reality, then a gap is very likely. Still, human behavior is influenced by patterns of upbringing and environment.
Everything suits him
When the issue of marriage is hushed up in a couple, men generally do not even think in this direction. In 75% of cases, the ladies hinted at or openly declared their desire to get engaged, which changed the behavior of the man. Do not be shy and avoid this question. Or you can raise the topic of marriage in the process of discussing with friends, indirectly.
Cohabitation reduces the chance of marriage by 50%. In fact, men are very immune to hints, especially if it is good for them to live in their usual way with a lady of the heart or meet at a convenient time.
The woman is not his type
There are beautiful girls with whom it is convenient to be together for some time, but they do not want to spend the rest of their lives with her. As a rule, such ladies are distinguished by an inferiority complex. And it’s not about beauty or anything else. If she endures everything, is ready to be content with little, yields and turns a blind eye to the fact that she is being used, then you should not hope for marriage. When a man finally earns money for an apartment, a house, a car, which were a milestone for him on the path to nepotism, he can drastically change his attitude towards a woman and choose a “more worthy” one that corresponds to his status.
It is important to understand from the very beginning where you are, why you maintain this connection and how suitable a person is for you, so that you do not feel bitter about the years spent.
And another important point that affects the thinking of girls from childhood. Many grow up with the mindset that any suitor or man with whom a lady is in a long-term relationship is automatically considered a “fiancé” and future husband. This is far from the case, many need to gain “emotional experience” in order to mature for serious bonds and building a family. This applies to both sexes, so you should not focus on overly romanticized ideas about the wedding and family life.
Marriage should be approached not only from the standpoint of feelings, but also with a cool head, having reasonably analyzed the prospect of living together with the chosen one. Not all men are suitable for fathers and leaders, do not impose inappropriate roles on each other. Then there will be no disappointments and resentments, but there will be a chance to find a real life partner.