This is an extremely complex and multifaceted issue that does not have an unambiguous solution either at the household or even at the medical level.
It splits into at least three more questions: 1. What, in fact, is considered sex: the whole process from the first touch to orgasm? Friction period? And if without frictions, but with orgasm – is it sex? 2. What is considered normal sex: sex, as a result of which both received an orgasm? Sex in which at least one of the partners got an orgasm? Sex, which, although it did not end with an orgasm, was pleasant? Is it just genital sex? 3. Only by determining for yourself the answers to the first two questions, you can understand how to pinpoint time. And how much does it need?
What to consider sex?
Strictly speaking, in the old textbooks on sexology, the period from penetration (penetration) to male ejaculation was considered sexual intercourse.
A man needs two to eight minutes to reach orgasm. During this time, he manages to go through all the stages of sexual intercourse – desire, arousal, plateau, orgasm, relaxation. In a woman, excitement alone takes from fifteen minutes. It turns out that in a man sex has time to end at a time when a woman did not even start it.
In the modern world, this option, of course, no longer suits anyone. Decent men know about this – and therefore they are ready to spend time on long preludes, and to master techniques for delaying ejaculation … And in general, there are a lot of things ready. But sometimes they are able to overdo it – and extended sex may not please a partner. Sometimes, delayed ejaculation becomes an even bigger problem for us than premature. In any case, polls in social networks confirm this:
Anna, 35 years old
In my youth there was a boy who could not (did not want to?) Finish two or three hours. I felt sorry for him, it seemed that he needed help, and now I would just go to the kitchen to read a book and drink coffee.
Olga, 32 years old
I’m like a man: I’m completely unable to continue after an orgasm: then, except for pain, I don’t feel anything. And to achieve what I want, I need about five minutes. And her husband – ten. Then I have to either endure and suffer (which negates all pleasure), or do a blowjob (which I also don’t really like).
But there are happy stories:
Irina, 37 years old
Thanks to the long-playing man, I learned what a multi-orgasm is. With my first husband, I simply did not have a chance: he finished in about five minutes. Usually this time was enough for me. If not, he quickly “brought” me with his hands. And with my current man during our first sex, I, as usual, received my pleasure in the allotted time, but he did not stop, but continued. My excitement did not fall to the end – and then it began to grow again, and again ended in orgasm! Then again … It was awesome. Usually we make love for an hour and a half: I manage to get three or four orgasms before it reaches the final.
What sex is normal?
Speaking of oral pleasure … Is it sex or not sex? Many women are capable of clitoral orgasm, but are not capable of vaginal. That is, they can (and even prefer) to get their orgasm without penetration – how to calculate the duration of sex for them? And whether to consider sex, for example, cunnilingus? And does it make sense in the framework of our article to calculate the rate of time for a blowjob? Should it be longer or shorter than genital sex? We repeat, from a purely medical point of view, only genital sex with penetration and ejaculation is considered sexual intercourse. But if you make love not for solving demographic problems, but only for pleasure, then any interaction with a partner that leads you to orgasm can be considered sex: genital sex, oral, anal, mutual masturbation.
The norm of sex is an individual thing. The main thing is that when intimacy is good for both. And here the duration of sex is not so important – three minutes or thirty-three, the final positive result (orgasm) is important on all sides. Everyone has!
It would seem that the most obvious and widely replicated solution is an elongated prelude.
Ideally, it is necessary for a man to caress a woman until he brings her to a squeak of arousal, and only then “enter” … But premature ejaculation is a frequent embarrassment with such tactics. If a man is inclined to fit into the sprint for two or three minutes, then he runs the risk of getting excited, while still caressing a woman – and ends up before he starts. For normal sex, it is not its duration that is important in itself, but the coincidence of temperaments and desires. What is your consolation if a man fits into his average norm from two to eight minutes, and you do not have time to get an orgasm? And what a joy to him if you finish earlier, and everything after your orgasm will be considered violence and coercion?
How much time do you need
We have approximately decided: sex is any action that leads to an orgasm of both partners. How much time is needed for such an event? It depends on many circumstances: on the age of the partners, their sexual temperaments and, of course, on the stage of acquaintance. When this is your first, second, third date, it is natural that you are ready to devote sex all the time, which is in reserve. You are insatiable – and this is normal, this is a period of mutual knowledge. As a rule, you can already understand on it how much you coincided in your temperaments. Perhaps someone earlier will leave the race and offer: “Have you gone better to the cinema?” Someone will begin to be offended by the lack of love and attention, which is actually expressed in the reduction of time for sex … Or maybe you will be fed up synchronously and gradually – it means they coincided.
In steady couples for everyday (in sexology it is called “routine”) sex, as a rule, stands out for three to five minutes. His task is simply to relieve tension and indicate proximity. If you want to experiment, then, of course, it will take more time. But it is mainly lengthened by foreplay.
If the beginning of sex is a hug or simultaneous jumping into bed, then its duration can be from the minimum required by the most ardent woman (10-15 minutes), to infinity. If time is recorded only for the period of frictions (or the beginning of continuous oral caresses), then the average norm is two to eight minutes. Most men and women will finish faster with oral sex. But this is the final only for one of the partners. If the second will thank, then the time, respectively, will double. But frictions longer than an hour in sexology are not considered the norm.